


drink up baby, stay up all night

by heistsociety



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Friends With Benefits, also no exy, i guess man, i literally don't fucking know, i was just like i'm gonna write a thing, it's just me bein gay and trying to write pretty stuff, so i wrote a thing, sort of. pretty much. cool., there's pretty much no plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 07:17:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11248971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heistsociety/pseuds/heistsociety
Summary: It starts like this: gnashing teeth at the bottom of a swimming pool, chlorine filling mouths and lungs and hearts. Allison tastes like poison, but Renee can't stop swallowing her. This isn't silicone; it's death.





	drink up baby, stay up all night

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea what the fuck this is either?? it's also unedited i'm sorry i just want to post this.

It starts like this: gnashing teeth at the bottom of a swimming pool, chlorine filling mouths and lungs and hearts. Allison tastes like poison, but Renee can't stop swallowing her. This isn't silicone, it's death. 

They meet like this: glowing technicolor lights in the back of a hotel bar. Allison is wearing a devil red dress, tight around her edges, lips scarlet like blood. She is addiction painted in brilliance. Renee can see why Vincent Van Gogh inhaled yellow like a lifeline; she would inhale the red of Allison too. She buys Allison a drink to the backdrop of a beating bass and they break into the pool. 

Allison tastes like vodka and strawberries. She is honey-colored ecstasy and Renee has fallen back into addiction. Maybe this isn't healthy; this day two months ago Renee killed a man and smiled as she watched the life drain from his eyes and Allison was slung under the arm of a boy that smelled like whiskey and cigarettes. But Allison hums,  _kiss me, kiss me, kiss me,_ with every breath, so Renee does. And she does. And she does. And she does.

They end up entangled in white sheets, desperately trying to separate themselves from the world by exploring each other. Renee traces constellations on Allison's skin and they fall asleep to the rhythm of soft breathing.

When Renee wakes up the next morning, Allison's gone. She leaves behind the smell of strawberries and a sticky note with a number and the faint press of red lipstick. Despite herself, Renee smiles.

Dan tells her that this is a bad idea, edging on the territory of a relapse or a fractured heart, but the flowers that grew themselves around Renee's ribcage died a long time ago. Andrew just laughs, always laughs, never stops laughing. He is a dangerous creature behind his mania, one that Renee wishes the world would stop trying to choke away. Dan tells her that Andrew is a bad idea too, but Renee sees echoes of herself in him. Same empty eyes, different ways of presenting themselves to the world.

 

Allison begins to frequent her life, eventually. And with Allison comes Neil and with Neil comes Matt. But Renee doesn't mind, because with Renee comes Dan and Andrew and with Andrew comes Kevin and Aaron and Nicky. And then Renee watches Allison who, with sparkles in her eyes, watches Matt watching Dan watching Andrew watching Neil. They're all planets orbiting around each other, polar and magnetic and endless. Then, at night, Allison will press Renee into her mattress and litter bite marks across her neck as Renee compares her to a prayer.

Stephanie was Renee's redemption. Allison is her sin. Maybe Dan is right; maybe Allison is a relapse and maybe Renee should stop letting herself fall, but  _fuck_. If this is falling, Renee never wants to hit the ground.

They take it one night, one night, one night at a time, because they never know who is going to leave first in the morning. 

It would be better if they could stop leaving, but it's easier to pretend that nothing is happening when they wake up to ghosts of the night instead of each other. 

(Renee always inhales Allison from the pillows, but she never has to know that.)

 

"I think Matt likes you," Renee tells Dan one day, thoughtfully.

Her lips curve into a smile sharper than a knife. Renee would know: she has long since become dull to knives, but Dan's smile can still unsettle her sometimes. It's the sort of smile that could carve a man from the inside out. "Oh, I know."

"So?" Renee prompts. "He seems like a nice guy."

"So, I'm not looking for a nice guy. I'm not looking for anything. Not right now," Dan says.

Renee hums in quiet approval and then continues. "What do you think of them, then? Matt, and Neil, and... Allison?"

Dan curves up an eyebrow. "Matt's nice, and Neil seems sweet. And Allison..." she trails off. "She seems like a great person, but you know what I think of-"

"Yeah," Renee smiles, gently. "I know." 

And she does. She knows and she knows and she knows, but Allison is completely ethereal. Renee thinks she might be magic; she hasn't stopped thinking about the curves of Allison's body since the day they met.

Dan isn't one for empty compliments, either. She thinks highly of Allison, and that should mean something. It does.

 

Renee never expects to get much from Andrew. She sits across from him, a mug of coffee in her hands, and says, "Neil."

Andrew smiles, fake cheer gushing from the ups of his lips. His smile is as dull as his eyes, but Renee knows how much damage an unsharpened knife can do, too. Renee can see it in herself; the most dangerous things hide under the least dangerous disguises. "What about him?" Andrew asks.

It's all the confirmation that Renee needs. "He's Allison's friend. And Allison-"

"You're fucking her," Andrew cuts her off bluntly. If Renee had any shame in her, she would've blushed. But if Renee had any shame in her, Andrew wouldn't cast her a second glance. "And you want to know what I think."

"And what do you think?"

"I think that it's ridiculous that you want my opinion," Andrew replies. And then, as a quiet afterthought. "You could do worse."

Renee's been told that her smile is brighter than the sun.

 

"In another universe," Renee mumbles against Allison's lips, "maybe we could be real."

"We are real," Allison answers, hands tucked in Renee's hair.

"We're recovering," Renee counters, and they both know it's true. "We're not ready for this. But in another universe-"

Allison captures Renee's lips in hers, a melody that Renee will never become tired of. "In another universe, I could call you my girlfriend and hold your hand during movies. In another universe, I could bring you flowers on Valentine's Day and your birthday and every other day. In another universe, where things aren't so fucked up-"

"It doesn't do to dwell on things you can't change," Renee reminds her, pressing her lips against Allison's hipbone and her stomach and everywhere else until she forgets how to say anything but Renee's name. It's the most beautiful sound that Renee's ever heard, and she wishes this would never end.

(But it always does.)


End file.
